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Bob Collymore Acquires Firearm License; Wife’s Baby-Daddy Said To Be Cause

CAPTION: Victory Loves Preparation! 

Safaricom CEO Bob Collymore was last week issued with a firearm license, after successfully applying for one.

It is a widely held-assumption that he has been facing a plethora of subtle threats, from the ex-husband and baby-daddy of his new Kikuyu lass Wambui Kamiru.

Unlike Michael “Mr. 10%” Joseph who operated with armed bodyguards, it seems Bob Collymore prefers not taking any chances.

Bob Collymore has also been facing threats from losers in the Safaricom tender gravy-train, which totals to billions of shillings in annual spending. The company is accustomed to single-sourcing, as its way of eliminating competitors.

Mr. Collymore has created more enemies than friends over the last couple of years, simply because of treating company coffers as tool to solicit sycophancy and reward mediocrity.

Caption: Safaricom CEO Robert Bob Collymore. Mr. Collymore has created more enemies than friends over the last couple of years.

Just like Uhuru only rewards those to kiss his ass, sing his praise and shout from the rooftops of his wondrous manifestation of greatness, Bob Collymore also harbors the same contempt for unfamiliarity.

With the growing insecurity especially after the Jubilee regime took over power, Kenya has gone to the dogs as Uhuru has stolen all our tax-money, creating unprecedented economic disparities and inequalities. People have resorted to arming themselves.

Uhuru envisions a Kenya which is only habitable for himself, his family, his St. Mary’s schoolmates with their fake British accents and his Mzungu expatriate workers. Everyone else is inconsequential to Uhuru.

His brother Muhoho Kenyatta is literally running the country, with the help of their mother Mama Ngina, who has injected the village-council mentality in the way Government executes its functions.

The economy is heading on a downward spiral, even as the Kenyatta family-assets and businesses record increased value and earnings. What a coincidence!

Kenya is slowly heading back to the old Moi days, where insecurity was rife, where harambee’s were the order of the day and when the rich got richer and the poor poorer. Uhuru and the Kenyatta-family have really fucked this country up.

We now want the laws curtailing firearm acquisition abolished, so that any/every Kenyan can acquire one. They should stop being handed out like status-symbols.

Because Uhuru has stolen all our money, and the economy is about to grind to a halt, insecurity will continue rising meaning firearms should be allowed with only vetting required. Currently, it costs Kshs. 500,000.00 to acquire a firearm, money which is mostly “eaten” by unscrupulous officials at the firearm registry.

We want Kenya to be like the US, so that thieves who attack can know that there will be a high likelihood of their not ending up alive. Families should no longer have to endure thugs rocking-up to their houses, breaking the grills and terrorising family members as they stand helpless.

Let firearm-laws be relaxed.

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